Education - Ejaculation

Because it is drenched in such exquisitely distracting sensations, few men realize that ejaculation is actually a two - part process - and that ejaculation and orgasm are not the same.

The first phase of ejaculation is what sex therapist and psychiatrist Helen Singer Kaplan, M.D., Ph.D., founder of the Human Sexuality Program at New York Hospital-Cornell Medical Center, calls emission. During this phase - the last step on the highway to heaven, so to speak - muscular contractions squeeze milky, protein-rich ejaculatory fluids out of the prostate and the seminal vesicles and mix them with sperm. The resulting brew (semen) is squeezed into a little chamber at the base of the urethra (the pipe through which semen and urine exit the body), where it lies ready for the launch.

William Masters, M.D., and Virginia Johnson, of the Masters and Johnson Institute in St. Louis, called the sensations produced by this proem "ejaculatory inevitability" -the feeling that, as Dr. Kaplan has described it, the gun is loaded, the trigger is pulled, and there's no turning back. You get that feeling because ejaculation has already begun.

The final phase, ejaculation itself, normally follows a fraction of a second later. Respiration, blood pressure and heartbeat, already rising rapidly, reach their peak. So does vasocongestion (the process by which various key body parts become engorged with blood). Rhythmic contractions of muscles near the base of the penis drive the semen up and out the urethra, usually in from one to five spurts. (It's not possible to ejaculate and urinate at the same time, because of a valve system that shuts off the bladder just before orgasm.)

A Teaspoon for Two

The actual volume of ejaculate varies quite a bit from man to man - it tends to decrease with age and increase with the length of time since the last ejaculation. It usually amounts to about a teaspoonful, although in one study of 46 Swedish men, the volume of the men's ejaculate ranged from a few drops to up to 8.8 milliliters (nearly 2 teaspoons). (Tip for the weight-conscious: There are at least 5 calories in the amount of semen ejaculated by the average man.)

Ejaculation usually produces such a tremendous sensation of release because, after it occurs, vasocongestion (the damming-up of blood) becomes its opposite (the letting-go of blood). Suddenly, all that trapped, shivering blood is unleashed, and the engorged parts gradually return to their former relaxed condition. At the same time, there's a tremendous release of muscular tension.

Here's something else it’s important to remember: Well before a man feels the great spasm of ejaculation, a dewy drop or two of pre-ejaculate may emerge from the tip of his penis with so little fanfare that he probably won't even notice it. Even a drop of this lubricating fluid, produced by the Cowper's glands, can contain millions of sperm-more than enough to impregnate a woman. That’s why the withdrawal method doesn't work very well as birth control and why condoms should be put on before the penis ever makes contact with the vagina.

Go Rest Young Man

Many men don't realize their bodies have what's known as a refractory period between ejaculations. In other words, the body simply cannot repeat the amazing physiological performance of erection and orgasm without a little rest first. The refractory period gets longer as you get older. In an 18-year-old, it may last as little as 5 to 15 minutes, but by the time you reach 60, the R & R required between ejaculations is more likely to be 18 to 24 hours. The period varies from man to man-the more frequently a man usually ejaculates, the shorter the in between period is likely to be.

Orgasm or Ejaculation?

Actually, although it may feel like it, and although they usually occur simultaneously, ejaculation is not quite the same thing as orgasm. It's possible to have one without the other. Men who've had prostate operations, for instance, often have what are known as dry ejaculations-they experience orgasm, but they don't ejaculate. (The semen backs up into the bladder and is harmlessly voided during urination, a proem known as retrograde ejaculation.)

What's the difference between ejaculation and orgasm? In his book Male Sexuality, Bernie Zilbergeld, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist in the Human Sexuality Program at the University of California, San Francisco, describes orgasm simply as "what you feel" and ejaculation as, well, ejaculation. Some men, he says, have trained themselves to have orgasms without ejaculating and may even be able to have multiple orgasms, like women. Other men complain that they ejaculate, but they miss the big payoff- they just don't feel very much at all. One way for these men to increase their orgasmic pleasure, Dr. Zilbergeld suggests, is to practice Kegel exercises, which strengthen the muscles of the pelvic floor and improve blood flow to the penis.

Learning Ejaculatory Control

One of the most common problems with ejaculation, of course, is that it comes too soon - or at least, the man has little voluntary control about when it occurs. One survey showed that a third of all adult men think they suffer from what's come to be known as premature ejaculation - even though there's no real agreement on the meaning of that term. Masters and Johnson, for instance, have said that a man should be diagnosed as having premature ejaculation if he reaches climax before his partner more than 50 percent of the time. But Dr. Zilbergeld's view of the matter seems more sensible and does away with the term completely. To him, ejaculatory control just means the man is able to control, at least fairly well, when he will ejaculate. He can pleasure himself and his partner for a luxuriously long time, or he can finish up quickly - it's up to him. To be able to do so contributes so much to satisfying sex - and to be unable to do so is so unsatisfying - that it deserves a special entry of its own.